National Theatre of Scotland

Holding on to your virginity, getting a ring for your pains and something to believe in, that’s what Dawn, Rob and Fawziya want. Ozzy, their loser PE teacher needs to believe in something too. It will all be fine when the Miracle Man gets here. Won’t it?

It’s a play written in Arial rather than Times New Roman if you know what we mean. The characters are bright, fizzy and fast and on a journey heading for a great big unabashed, get-it-right-up-ye finale.

'I was thinking of going out into the playground, walking up to Fiona Grant, shoving my ring right into her wee pig-cow face and saying "Get this up ye ya hacket wee dog! The Miracle Man’s coming and now everyone hates you cos you’re a slag and we’re not." Spread that about ya minging bitch!'

Douglas Maxwell (Decky Does a Bronco, Mancub) is the writer who refuses to grow up. This is what he says:

My plays are for my friends. They're intelligent people, clued up and skilled, they just don't go to the theatre. Films, music, novels, sport yes of course, but theatre's not for them. But I keep them in mind when I write because should they go to a play, I'd hope to Christ they'd go to see one of mine.

Notes : Exclusive performances available for schools, youth groups and under 21s at the Tron Theatre, Glasgow from Tuesday 9th to Saturday 13th March. Contact the Tron Theatre Box Office to book, or check here for full details.

Empty

Col's home and alone with a big empty house all to himself. Maybe get some friends round? That'll be all right, won't it?